The Point of it All

Let's face the facts...or more like the truth. I know now, that I'm probably going to love you forever...if not beyond that. But at this very moment...ii no longer want to. It's tiring to think about trying not to think about you. To think if i'm crossing your mind as often as your resting on mines. What we had was inarguably beautiful. And just when I get in my state of mind where ii feel like 'everything happens for a reason'.. ii say no they don't...and if they do..ii want to know every single one. Right now. *sigh* but right now ii have someone in my life that makes me ask no questions. All ii do is feel...feel for him in every inch of my soul...but not my heart. I think my hearts so confused, ii couldn't trust it if ii wanted to. I know that me and this guyy are going to get to a happy place... a place far more happier than we already are, and unintentionally i'm going to push him away. i'm going to accidentally find little reasons of why ii should be alone instead of happy with him. Well at least thats how ii feel now. But ii know once ii start believing in my heart that happiness doesn't have to be just temporary, then that's when i'll let love take it's course once again. the point of it all is thats it's all because...of you...

Here's Too Us..

I've always been told that life is a game. You have some that were born winners. There's others with vengeance in their eyes to play the game at all costs. Survival of the fittest. Doing anything they have to do to get to where they have to go. That includes hurting the ones that where by your side while you got there...And then there's others like me that are just learning the rules. You either play the game or let the game play you. I've tried the rules...they may work for everybody but im somebody different. The playing 'hard to get', the 'keeping your guards up', the 'never wearing your heart on your sleeve', and the 'money over everything'...all key things to a life full of success. But ii won't be where ii wanna be, if ii don't have someone to share it with. I remember when I was in the 9th grade, ii prayed to God and told him all ii wanted was somebody to love, ii said ii would endure all the ups and the downs, the joy and the pain..all ii wanted was to love. Boy oh boy did he give me ALL of that and all the tears that ii could bear. I got what I wanted...I've got the chance to love...and love hard. Now that I've mastered that part, ii know what it should feel like when ii get it in return. No more games. Blissful honesty and innocent love. It may not get me up the success ladder, BUT it'll get me where ii truely wanna be....in the arms of someone who loves me. Soooo here's to making our own rules...to this game called l i f e.

~ Beyonce ~ Smash Into You ~

"And im soaked in your love, and love is right in my path..in my grasp...and me and you belong. I'm willing to run, smash into you..."