Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What Hurts The Most.

Soo ii visited with my grandfather yesterday. He had been in the hospital for about 5 days. I saw that something was wrong from the time he opened the door to his house. He said that the doctors had been running tests and they think it may be lung cancer. Cancer. But they will be sure when they get the results back next week. He says I'm the only person he has told as of yet. but what do ii say to that? Cancer. And what hurts the most is that I never had that close relationship with my family like I wish I had. I never felt that unconditional kinda love from anybody, but through all that..I still love them all unconditionally. But love can't save a person from dying. Sooo im on my knees praying for better news..better days. Cancer. Yet there's still reasons to smile. ♥


im dreaming of you until you meet me here. your face flickers on and off in my mind. like a puzzle, im trying to piece you together. rest your head on my shoulder. be quiet. let's just feel for lost time. but you're not even here. its just nice to pretend that you are. listening to this music in the headphones. listing the words for what they are, my reasons to think about you. so ii dance. dance around the fact that each day is a struggle. a struggle to try to not understand. a struggle to not regret you. a struggle to not love you, but we all know thats hard to do. the beat in my heart is irregular from me trying to now...unforget you. forgived you and the fact that you must do what you have to do for you. but for you, there's me. my night mind.

Silya Says:

"The only way you'll know its worth, is if you all."