Friday, June 11, 2010

My Words of the Week

"The thing about love is that there IS a difference between giving up and letting go. For one is just for the moment and one is...forever"//

How It Feels To Fly

Sooooooo we have talked everyday, all day for the past 2 weeks. Funny...cause ii still feel the same ii did on day one. We even agreed on a song that fit us perfectly. && I find myself singing it...

i was wondering maybe..
if i make you my baby..
&& we do the unthinkable..
would it make us look crazy?
or would it be so beautiful..
either way im saying..
if you ask me
I'm Ready..
If you ask me im ready//

Or am I?I have gotten so accustomed to the same things, that im scared to see what happiness feels like again. I'm scared that this feeling is becoming a little bit repetitive. Or is it that I just want it so bad for myself, even if its only temporary, just a wisp of someone elses reasons to smile. those four letters. those same four letters that can make you or break you. trip you and trick you. hurt you and change you. manipulate and derange you. yepp! those same four letters that makes all of those things worth while. l o v e. for someone to fall...for who ii am, even when who ii am isn't who ii wanna be. for someone to study the things that make me tick...just so our hearts can be on the same beat. for someone to jeopardize their happiness...just so they can feel exactly how ii feel after a long day of work. for someone to be capable of making me feel like every tear i've ever dropped, every hurt i've ever cried, and every smile i've ever faked to make things seem alright due to him, HIM, him...oh and him...was worth it? now what was it again that ii was scared of??? *sigh* if you ask me. im ready.

So Far Gone

I want to be able to look at everything ii do and say that it was worth it. But thats not possible. I've done some things that have been everything but such, but every mistake ii made makes me appreciate the lesson that much more. Whether I learn from the lesson or never do, mistakes were made to teach. I don't look at any past person in my life as a mistake, although ii used to. But now, I see that they taught me what kind of future persons too look forward too. It teaches me about the persons I need to stop expecting to be there and accept the people that never planned to leave my side. I can tell day by day that im growing. Growing from the person ii always was into the person that i've never been. But thats a good thing.The things I never did are the same things I needed to do to step forward. It wasn't a kilometer or a mile...maybe not even a leap, but its the movement that counts. I know they're thinking, she's so far gone and too far to come back. They're right. Im at my checkpoint on a one-way street. I can look back all ii want....but the only direction ii can go is laying in front of me. ♥