[Real-ity]

When is it going to be okay to live? When is it going be okay to experience happiness without the pain? When is it going to be okay to get what you deserve? When is it going to be okay to find yourself after losing yourself? Realistically, reality stinks. Reality tells me that I can live...JUST as long as it follows the guidelines for who everyone else...wants me to be. Reality tells me that I will be happy ONLY after I endure the pain. Reality tells me that the more good I do, the more bad will come my way. Reality tells me that once a good girls gone bad...she's gone forever (Jay-Z). So...I stopped expecting. Expectations only lead to disappointments once things don't turn out as planned. So...I stopped planning and started living day by day. But it's hard to live "real-istically" day by day when the people around you aren't real AT ALL. The smiler in ya facers...the OH! thats just my frienders...the sorry you're not good enoughers. My reality involves me taking control of my life, who's in it, and what's going on throughout it. I'm not taking life too seriously...but MY life...now that's a different story.

Mood: Anti-reality!